are you excited to go to work?

This week I have been having difficulty getting exciting to go to work, being excited while at work, and over all, doubting being a nurse.

I can't decide if this is just in context of all the other stressors in my life and my want to be home taking care of things, or if it's because I have to go to work the days Tony is off and I want to stay home with him.

Or if it is what I dread, that I hate being a nurse.

I long for the times when the most stressful part of my job was making a dinner start on time- though I would not want that to be my career.

I dream about a desk job with no ties to saving lives or destroying them with my direct actions.

I think about never working again (then I freak out about the financial reprecussions)

Or working part time somewhere "easy"

And I fear that I don't want to be a nurse and that is why I dread going to work.

But perhaps it is just a phase and it too shall pass.

Perhaps.

Until then I pray and fake it until I make it here.

And try to remember why I became a nurse, and find comfort in my paycheck at least.

I wonder daily whether other people all feel this way about their job. Or if it's wrong to feel like calling in sick every day.

You hear about the drone of work and making yourself go- should it really be this way?

Are you excited to go to work everyday?

Because I find many times I am not.