Insomnia

For as long as I can remember, I have had a little insomnia. Not terribly chronic, and possibly directly related to caffeine, but about once every month or so, there is a night where I cannot only sleep, but am not really sleepy at all. I know I need to sleep, mentally, and because I always want to cry on these nights which has no relationship to anything except that my body needs rest, but my mind is not on track with that plan.

I guess there is hope for me on the graveyard shift as a new grad RN.

This is the first night since being married that this has happened, and it was amazing to realize how lucky I am that at 1:30 am I can crawl into bed and tell Tony I am not sleepy and he will still wake up enough to say "sorry honey" and roll over and put his arm around me to make me feel better. He also listens when I tell him I'm scared to be a nurse.

So I laid there for a while, envious of his ability to sleep, but then decided to fuel my internet addiction while being unable to sleep.

We bought new cell phone cases tonight. This is the 3rd for me. Erin convinced me to buy a hard case after my slide in "pouch" style I first got, and I liked it, until I dropped it and it cracked, and I glued it back together 3 times until the glue just wouldn't take anymore, and I decided this was a chance to try something new, and possibly improved.

But Verizon was closed by the time we got there, so we hit up the mall for the Verizon kiosk, which was alright, then went down to the generic cell phone booth and both got silicone cases. Pics to follow.

I am having a small about of buyer's remorse after reviewing Verizon's website and seeing that there was a silicone case available online/at the store for less than what we paid (which was less than the kiosk) especially with our 25% discount. I might still go check it out tomorrow and see what the deal it. If in store it is that price, then all for it. If just online, I probably won't feel so bad. This is the problem with me shopping.

Cest la vie, I tell myself, even though I am still thinking about it hours later.

Tony keeps me grounded and continually tells me we made the right decision and that he likes the one I got better anyways because it's more "me." I am pretty lucky.

And so for now, I stay awake. I even made the dog stay in the bedroom to get some shut eye (not that she isn't lazy all day). I used to take OTC "sleeping pills" which is pretty much benadryl in a different package, but I have cut them out since being post nursing school, especially since I really just stay home most the time.

The productive thing to do is to study more for the NCLEX, but who really absorbs things at this hour anyways?